Nothing and I mean nothing prepared me for the challenges of teaching my own child(ren). I quickly realized that I was highly invested in their successes and failures. And the personality conflicts... whoa buddy. I can't just send these kids home to their parents and wash my hands of it.
Before I began home schooling in earnest I had visions of such a serene and peaceful environment where we were totally engaged and having fun while we learned. Don't get me wrong, there are days just like that. They do exist, but there are days too that are the complete opposite. Those are the days that make my head spin. Let's be honest, there are days when we are all in tears and so frustrated we can't see straight. That's reality folks.
While we are being honest, there have been days that I have questioned my ability to homeschool my children. I can get really caught up emotionally with them. The last two days have been trying to say the least. I finally reached my limit today and locked myself in my room to "cry it out". Thankfully my Lord listens to me through tears and rants and loves me anyway.
As I am pouring my heart out to Him saying, "I can't" or "I've failed", I clearly get this message..... No you can't, but I can. Yes, you are weak, but I am strong. I too often rely on my own strength and am somehow surprised when things break down and fall apart.As much as I get frustrated with my kids for continually making the same unpleasant choices, I am doing the same thing. I am repeatedly choosing to go my own way and rely on my own strength. Over and over again, God reminds me and gently teaches me to follow Him and lean on Him alone.
I am not perfect... He is.
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"
Phillipians 4:13
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